Yuku free message boards

You have listed the disadvantages for doing what you choose to do which, you say, is nothing. I think you underestimate the volume of what you are doing. You are, in fact, doing quite a great deal. Shamefully is it misguided, even wasted.

List the advantages (including all the things you so effectively do, and desperately need to, avoid) by your present pursuit. You will find there are many advantages, perhaps more than the disadvantages. The advantages for you are important ones, logical ones.

The choice you have made might be analogous to your refusal, say, to fly (if you could afford it and had some place to go) because you believe the risk is too great of dying in an airplane crash. That's completely logical. I would find it courageous, even reckless, of you to fly knowing what you believe about the risk.

But, the fear may not be so logical when you accept that the risk of dying in your sleep in a house fire (which you do risk) is far greater than dying in a plane crash.

Our conclusions or actions are usually the best choices and most logical given the premise we build for ourselves. It is the refutation of our premises that makes our conclusions illogical, even stupid. That is where you are: logical conclusion from premise you don't want to accept yet as false.

I think the evidence here is strong that you know the premise is wrong, but it supports the desired conclusion, your present inaction. So you go with it.

For example, why are you concentrating on the disadvantages? There are real and important advantages in the life you've chosen.

From the disadvantages, I suspect you want to be

1) Punished,
2) Pitied (and maybe picked up and told it's all right),
3) Deprecated, or
4) Despised.

It is the only way, first of all, you can affect us by your inactivity. For otherwise, we don't care. But your measure of your impact on us is extremely sensitive. Even an apparent infinitesimal amount (perhaps illusory) can sustain you. Your impacting us in a such a tiny way, may be your only screwy revenge from a slight you experienced years ago.

Secondly, all those expectations from us are alternatives to examining your false premises: your fears. In fact, each response supports in your mind that the premise is correct. You do know, I suspect, your premise is false, but if you can get others by doing one or more of the above four things, you can get a kind of phony proof or evidence that your premise is fair.

Nobody, considering your age, is going to offer you anything except some ideas. In fact, nobody cares one way or the other about you or what you suggest is your problem. People are compassionate, of course, and want you to be successful and happy in whatever way that might be for you. But we cannot help you. If I weren't procrastinating (and avoiding) right now, I wouldn't be here.

You might see your problem better from this which I must always remind myself of: Procrastination is a bad solution. Procrastination is not the problem.

Your inactivity (procrastination) due to fear is a poor solution. Your fear is your problem.

Here is another question to ponder. Why are you not rewarding yourself for your inactivity? You are successfully avoiding that which you fear. But you avoid reward and tell us how much your should be despised because you know yours is not success. That is why you concentrate on the gloom.

I doubt you've been outside in a while. And when you do go outside, I'd be surprised if you didn't scurrying along walls to avoid attention. After all, you wouldn't feel you deserve to be outside with the rest of us. For your inactivity, you must instead exercise self-punishment and self-deprecation.

Unfortunately and blessedly, change is internal. Imagine the horror if you had to wait for some false god to decide to come along and free you. How happy you can be, that change is freely available to you, right this second. Choose it.

Ask yourself, "Why would an intelligent person such as yourself want others to see you as a buffoon, irrational, self-defeating, illogical, and stupid? That is what you are doing. But to go along with that image, you won't wear, I'd bet, a clown suit. You wouldn't paint you face red. Wear a sack over your head. That, to you, would be saying something about you that you wouldn't want said. But, what you are doing now is just as revealing. Why would an intelligent person, then, behave as you are? Something is missing or at least not admitted.

Your present course is a way of camouflaging your real problem, so that you can avoid addressing it. It is like a dream, a day dream. Night dreams often are real life disguised so you can sleep. If they were the very picture of your apprehensions, you be awake all night (if you aren't already.) You are using day dreams likewise as a way to keep you from thinking about the real problem. Your day dream deals with your worthlessness, your inability to act, and other things that we, and you know, are false. Your real life is your fear.

If you were to think about the real problem you'd be scared, very scared, but you might gradually get busy to fix it. So stop thinking about the effects of your problem, the awful person you are. Start studying some solutions. The right solution will bring voluntary action.

You are avoiding the things that brave people (and little children) have had, for whatever reason that motivates them, nevertheless to do. We envy your ease, but we are ashamed of you. Ashamed that you haven't learned that your fears are baseless while your sufficient courage (which we all have) is misplaced.

It takes courage to sit around knowing the doom that is bearing down on you. Medals have been awarded for such bravery when it was shown for a greater purpose.

Admit and accept your fears, and do it anyway. Follow the Marines: "Fear is cowardice leaving the body." Think on that. It doesn't suggest someone should be fearless, quite the opposite. Fear is so ordinary in so glorious an organization as the Marine Corps that they have a motto for it.

Fear can disable us, as it has you, until we learn what it is. The Marines succinctly teach you about fear. Fear is simply cowardice departing the body as if by a natural, physical law. How refreshing. How encouraging. When I have fear, I know I am becoming brave (the opposite of cowardly) by the simple, normal, natural feeling of fear. Unless, I let it disable me.

To operated on a contrary theory that fear is unnatural, absent from truly brave men and women, the Corps would find few satisfactory recruits. It minimizes fear, and at the same time, keeps it from handicapping me. I sense fear, and instead of being overwhelmed, I quickly am encouraged. And, I have a great deal of cowardice, at most times, for fear to rid me of. And 67% of all people are just like you and me.

I don't particular care whether you have good luck or not, but what the hell, good luck. Besides, you and I know luck has nothing to do with your changing. It's up to you.