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This is Hapening in Engrishland one faine summers...
16 September 1967:

A team of faive horny Acheorozists are to doing exavatory techniques on grounds somewhore in Cartesy-Garddens.

"Hei dude, yo want der Pot-Tray?" askings one hip fella.

"No - I an not fancy yanydinng over here. We are dig grounds to see new stuff..." annater rejects.

"Dig? Sigh - we are not dig full taime yand gets only pot everywhore. Can't just we harvings Big-Pot party??"

"Fack youself. Hei - " yi excraims. Found digs a heck of a facking structural grobal under-ground. Even, a book is uncovered. That a old battered maggazine!! It called Feel Up dated using carbons around 23th Novembre 1727.

Dey openings out the Maggazine. Dey saw a pickture, dunno whether hannd-drawns is it. Junge boy worn "Fack-you-arseh0le" and seem helds someding. Signatures are not even clears yand not see at all...

Dey brings back material to lab yand interprates:

Whattafack was the boy promotes??

That guy is promotes someding, that lookings rike soy sauce bottle. Incidentallie, it not soy-sauce by inspections. More complex dings happen yand found. It not soy sauce he hold in left hannd. Discoverinsg the documents that wrotes in broken Latin, it seyed, it a Gutar-String-Porisher.

On his rite hannd could be a Pack of Strings, maybe poochasd from Guitars-Freek store, evidenced logo on it. On the tabel of is the sallad bottle yand a pack of snacker wrotes in Japanese. Other dings on the tabel are unidentifaied. Yand even the place yand location of pickture is undiscrosed. Whatthefack, man!

Who the fack was this boy? We don't know. Mabe a spy. Mabe a Yohann-Sebasthion-Bach associate? Wo knows??

It has a stoly in the maggazine. So simpel to documents:

A young men is aged 19 played the gutar yand got passions museek. Yi played considerbly okee, yand also to harve exams distincts yand do performs. Let's call him Mr. Rann instead. Yi is average Joe having naice rife, yand he is only Cheap and chic.

Anatter young men is of equaivalent of him in praying performance, exceptions yi only rich guy, wearing WANI-skin jeans yand havve naice gutar, costings drei (three) taimes of Mr. Rann gutar. Let's call dis spoild brat FackMan, okay??

Fackman alweys come to crassroom sometaimes yand shows his skills only to lovely white girs!! After pray the same song OVER and OVER again, the girls got the stimulation. Yi showed no passion museek - just not care yand not give a fack about Bach wo is pioneer museeksian on that period. Yi butchered mussek very wells. He need "Horny Remover" rite now.

On winter taime, where swarms of WinterGnats are still around yand the gentel warbling yand chattering, Mr. Rann yand Fackman to come dogether in the master-crass. All poople performs well enuff. Only Mr. Rann are hit criticized by Fackman, telling, "Ah Mr. Rann can not pray gutar!! Why? Yi not even hears well in that. Too fast, too slow, yidiota."

Mr Rann kept his blady mouth shut all der taime. He expectorate such inflammatory lemarks from him. He received crap-hands from audience, yand if he got mistooks can improve. Unfackingnately Fackman thinks all gutars are Plussy Magnets. Yi kiked Mr.Rann one-yand-only gutar until strings broken yand snapped. Damn! How he are do that!! He is the bittch in the earth filled to such hatred!!

Oh fack. Good. No-morrow was anatter Performs cuntest, yand even Prime Minister and Mr.Bach attends. This time Fackman is ruined Mr.Rann gutar yand beyong repairs conditions. Now how to Pray gutar like that?

Mr. Rann went toiret, yand do the Shi-Ting. He thunk for an ideas but only arse-h0le of him to give out shhh!t. A junge boy behind the crosed toiret door askings.

Rann answered, "When I talk I cannot shh!t, when I shh!t I cannot talk!". Der junge boy sits outside, yand wait for Mr. Rann finished busyness.

"I am hear you gutar is broken by evil Fackman. I come to fixings it."

"No! You willa makes matters worse. I not thinking logically to feel confident anymores!!" Mr Rann peel sad afraid of hurt.

"No - I habe set of Strings!! Made from pubice hair taied around to make lesonant sounding strings! Better den "Try Your Guts!" strings, which made of sheep gut. Yand I habe the string poo-lisher made of mixture of urine, yand tard boiled under refrux..."

"Crap man! Kinda dirtie, but - " Mr. Rann said, but his gutar was taken away by the junge boy. Helpressly He see him to restrung all of his gutar in 5 minuttes!! Boy used unknown kompund to spread on strings. He tried whacking and pluckin' strings. Sounds top of cool.

"Okee - keep you gutar. The sound is differs than Fackman's ones. Sound much more juice, yand much of resonance. Worry not - it hard to break." the boy is disapears yand runs fast. Rann kept gutar, yand practise.

The next day, Mr. Rann and Fackman are in the cunsert dogether. Fackman was surprised, see Mr. Rann gutar restrunged. "Aiyou - No girls will fancy you-lah, givvitup!!" Fackman sed. Rann said, "I not pray gutar to get plussies or drink me-juice okee? I just wan listen. yand Fack you too."

Dey prayed the gutar in consert. Fackman prayed well, but sound not project enuff yand not fun even to listen, cause his objective of pray gutar is to get plussies.

Meenwhile Mr. Rann do okay, but sounds oh-so-gleat, captivates President, Mr. Bach yand audience. Dey all crap hannds yand shouts,

Hey dude, this is top of cool!!

"I want listen to it aggain!!" asked one audience. Out of blue, Fackman had revenge, yi climbed up staged to give Rann a boot in arse. Far behind was der boy jesterday, fling the soy-sauce bottel yand hit on Fackman. Yi faints, yand audience shout, "Wao!!". Mr Rann cuntinued prays.

Next dey Mr. Bach cames, askigns about wanna work with him on Mr. Rann. Mr. Rann so surprised. Yi can werk with Mr.Bach wo is top of cool compooser!! Of course, yi said jes. Yo can. Dey werked dogether to produse museek that effects of "fry me to the moon" yand good lythmic thoughts. Fackman becomings a strreet bum, yand also Exposing himserf in the danger.

Mr Bach commanteted on Rann's helping werks - Sounds good that sounds rike fun! Can yo hear me? We are praying hard everyday, grownups rooks at us enviously but that's our work!!

Mr. Rann felt happiness blowed on him. So he called that young boy to promotes in Feel-Up maggazine. He came, yand made advertaisments. His t-shh!t?

Why does he have the t-shh!t on??

He was trying to convey a good messaje to aspirings museeksians.

At the back was said like this, "If jou think gutars are plussy magnets, then,.. "

The front of shirt said "Fack you arse-h0le!". Sold the producks rike mad after months.

What was going on in his head when the pic was taken??

Interesting guestion. Through some advanced facilities in lab, they are able to translates his thinking by some colorimatric anal-ysis. He thunk:

Passion of museek must in mind. Don't think of get plussies. It must come from, hart, maind yand soul. If you are think plussies (or testicles), then Fack-you-arseh0le!

He got another thought:
Before univerals were formed, there's a big black hole. Big black hole sucked everyding in. Exploshions occures. Then got all garaxies. Aha, I am dink, farking is the same also rite? That why living dings are programed to Fack. Okee? Thank you. You are available in next stop. Heh.

Ingy O' Nghan
Ganbatte, okee? Go! Go!